Dive into the archives.
- GRANDPA GETS AUDITED
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up
with his attorney.
The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle
and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying
that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’
I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. […]
- You might be a Exstremist Muslim:
IF:
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a extremist Muslim
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.. You may be a extremist Muslim
3. You have more wives than teeth. You may be a exstremist Muslim
4. You wipe your butt […]
- Senior Health Care Solution
So you’re a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing
home available for you - what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed
to shoot 2 politicians and 2 illegal immigrants.
Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you […]
- And Now a Word from Larry
Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in Our Country lately: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . . . . Not me — I concentrate on solutions for the problems — it’s a win-win situation. * Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. * Send the dirt to New […]
- 16 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn
By Dave Barry, nationally syndicated columnist
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and will never achieve its full potential, that one word would be “meetings.”
There is a very fine line between “hobby” […]
- Why Women Can’t Sleep
Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.
A man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.
- George Carlin on aging!
Enjoy the ride. There are no return tickets
George Carlin’s Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. ‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re […]
- Senior Humor:
Some of you may be too young for this but it’s funny! I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got
my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated,
jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. […]
- Marriage Counseling
After 20 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of imtimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an […]
